We review hundreds of asses, and while we feel this reflects well upon our unique features and reputation, the downside is that we simply cannot accommodate every ass.
Category: Rejection Letters
Rejection Letter: Amee Nassrene Broumand
We’re extremely disturbed by the sample photos you sent, as well as your accounts of stalking people in the woods and scaring the bejesus out of them.
Rejection Letter: Bryan Harvey
Dear Sasquatch, Thank you for the submission you made to our art editors. Your work created quite a stir in our emails and Zoom conference calls (we are social distancing after all). Anyway, while your […]
Rejection Letter: Melinda Wyers
Your claim that “someone’s ex-boyfriend only likes Yellow Starbursts” seems to be an edge case (or just made up) as our research has proven otherwise.
Rejection Letter: Mandira Pattnaik
Dear Travancore Beach, Thank you for sending us, ‘Snapshots from Yesteryears’. Unfortunately, we couldn’t come up with better news in these testing times but we want you to know this rejection does not mean never. […]
Rejection Letter: Temidayo Jacob
“Dear BBC, for being fucked the 69th time but never tired of being ridden a bit. we appreciate the chance to accept your poem, “the girth and length of your big black cock”. we value […]
Rejection Letter: Lindsey Heatherly
Although your measures for success are highly revered – with unparalleled academia, exemplary grade point averages, multiple extracurricular activities, as well as personal and financial long-term investments—they do not fit within the themes of my life journey in this moment.
Rejection Letter: Michelle Noonan
Dear Anxiety, I have received your application for the position of Mood of the Month. You were one of many well-qualified candidates. However, I’m sorry to inform you that I’ve selected another applicant. You are, […]
Rejection Letter: Mother’s Day Edition
It is an interesting piece and I’m sure it will find a place, but I’m afraid that place is not My Life.
Rejection Letters 