Dear Children,
Thank you for considering me for your recent submission: ‘Being Together 24/7’. Although it has several good points, I’m afraid it is not a good fit for My Life.
I love the premise and the opening has great promise. However, I found my interest slipping after the one-week mark. If you would like to rework this into a flash piece by reducing it by a few months, I would be delighted to take another look.
Thank you again, and please feel free to send us work in the future.
Sincerely,
Your Mother
***
Dear Children,
Thank you for considering me for your recent submission: ‘Homeschooling’. It is an interesting piece and I’m sure it will find a place, but I’m afraid that place is not My Life.
This is a very well constructed and complex piece with some beautiful nuance. However, I would request that you read my submission guidelines more carefully, where you will see that I do not accept work requiring Superhuman Patience or Sacrificing My Scant Free Time.
I would also like to point out that, even though you will undoubtedly be accepted elsewhere, you might want to consider revising the characters to make them less wilful and cantankerous.
Thank you again, and please feel free to send us work in the future.
Sincerely,
Your Mother
***
Dear Children,
Thank you for considering me for your recent submission: ‘Playing Games’. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but unfortunately will not be accepting it for My Life.
Firstly, let me say how much I loved ‘Playing Games’. Although there are a few squabbles that could be ironed out, it is a fun and well paced piece with just the right amount of twists and turns. I really hope you find someone willing to accept it.
The issue is that I have just accepted two very similar pieces featuring home-baking and family exercise. My Life doesn’t have space for any more wholesomeness at this time.
Thank you again, and please feel free to send us work in the future.
Sincerely,
Your Mother
***
Dear Children,
Thank you for considering me for your recent submission: ‘Growing Up and Taking Care of Yourselves’. I don’t think My Life is quite ready for this at this stage in our history, so I will have to decline.
I love the concept of ‘Growing Up and Taking Care of Yourselves’, and the scenario is well thought out and plausible. However, the overall message seems to undermine what My Life stands for. There is a chance that, at some point, My Life will have evolved to a point where your ‘Growing Up and Taking Care of Yourselves’ would fit, but I’m afraid I’m not there yet.
In the meantime, please feel free to send me any pieces similar to your earlier works. I regret that I was unable to accept them at the time of submission and would welcome something in that vein.
Sincerely,
Your Mother
***
Hannah Hulbert is trapped in a house in urban Dorset, UK. She spends her time cooking for, cleaning up after, teaching, entertaining and policing her two adorable monsters. Before the Beginning of The End, she was a writer. There’s proof – you can find her short stories in the anthologies Once and Future Moon (Eibonvale Press) and Cat Ladies of the Apocalypse (Camden Park Press) and the May 2020 edition of Metaphorosis. Nowadays she’s lucky if she can find the time to shower.
Rejection Letters 