Not a word about the man in the crushed-purple-velvet suit, cheetah-print-rimmed fedora—pointing the way towards the post-game-show—with his zirconia topped cane.
NOBODY WANTS YOUR FUCKING COUCH
And yet upon graduating college you insist on leaving that lumpy brown heap on the sidewalk, a little going away gift to your neighbors who never once flattened your tires as payback for the red […]
Egg Whites
Mrs. Barrett kept her husband’s body in the garage refrigerator, but she didn’t kill him. His heart combusted in his rib cage during Sunday breakfast, popping his eyes out like egg whites. Wiping sugar-free orange […]
(blackout)
*** Lucas Peel spends his time telling everyone who will listen about his ongoing battle with lactose intolerance. He was born in the year of the banana and likes thinking about the sounds dinosaurs […]
Rejection Letter: Sheldon Birnie
I can assure you that there is absolutely no evidence, scientific or otherwise, to support your theory that werewolves run wild within our Park boundaries
Multi-Sentence Story About Ants
Because something unravels in front of you, no stops for your blue light-radiated eyes…
THE JOURNEYMAN
No one really knows where to begin — the story, the song, the first kiss. But like taking a walk, you just start where you’re standing. One hand, you lay your cards on the table. […]
In Which I Reject the Humorless Narrative of My Life and Become Funny, Divine
Content Note: descriptions of sexual abuse *** The first time he touches me, I pretend I am rabid dog and bite him. The first time he touches me, I pretend I am the burglar alarm. […]
A Rejection Letter to Hawaiian Pizza
Hawaiian Pizza is responsible for the death of my dear Tutu!
Rejection Letters 