Neil,
Good news! After conducting a thorough review of your “application materials,” including careful consideration of your life experiences and impressive personal qualities, the Admissions Committee is pleased to offer you acceptance into our freshman class!!
Though you may not have been seeking our attention, we could not help notice how you’ve been treating your parents, “disciplining” your dog, mansplaining, littering, assuming the worst of others, mocking those who are less fortunate, body-shaming celebrities online, lying to your friends, and knowingly passing gas in public spaces.
It is obvious to us that you should be joining the University of Hades community.
Welcome to your forever home!
Beelzebub
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Bob Gielow writes fiction using non-traditional formats. A college administrator by day, Bob (he/him) spins tales in formats we all use when communicating with each other: text messages, emails, fictional Wikipedia posts, and diary entries all allow him to be clinical and thorough in describing his characters, their thinking and actions … without diminishing his ability to explore the resulting human emotions. Bob utilizes these epistolary styles, and others, to tell tales that frequently explore the most common of human experiences, death. Previously, Bob has written for 101 Words, Creepy Pasta, Misery Tourism, Paragraph Planet, Bait/Switch, Door Is A Jar, Sunflowers at Midnight, Short Kid Stories, Streetcake, Viridian Door, Gorko Gazette, Active Muse, Words for Change, and Close To The Bone.
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image: MM Kaufman
Rejection Letters 