We hated watching it shit so we removed it’s asshole. We hated the way it breathed so we removed its mouth. We were sick of it listening so we removed its ears. We were sick of it watching so we removed its eyes.
We were left with the most adorable living adjacent dog anyone could want. A ball of fur and limbs wandering aimlessly for us to stroke and save our marriage.
We too eventually got the surgeries, a house of smooth unblemished flesh, finally living peacefully.
People loved us for that.
Mark Wilson is a Chicago based author/visual artist driven by the same crippling monotony experienced while watching a piss soaked snow mound melt into oblivion in an abandoned parking lot. He is the creator of a popular absurdist culture blog https://onetie-alltie.com/blog/ Twitter: @toadswiback
image: Cas Hendrickson