No one really knows where to begin — the story, the song, the first kiss. But like taking a walk, you just start where you’re standing. One hand, you lay your cards on the table. […]
In Which I Reject the Humorless Narrative of My Life and Become Funny, Divine
Content Note: descriptions of sexual abuse *** The first time he touches me, I pretend I am rabid dog and bite him. The first time he touches me, I pretend I am the burglar alarm. […]
A Rejection Letter to Hawaiian Pizza
Hawaiian Pizza is responsible for the death of my dear Tutu!
After the Message Beep: Nostalgia Calls
You’re just as caring and attentive as my other exes X, Boomer, Silent, Greatest, and Lost.
Rejection Letter: Father’s Day Edition
Dear the Last Time I Carried You Back to Bed: I just realized it’s been six months since you’ve staggered into our room, crawled into our bed, snuggled up to our bodies, then needed to […]
JOTTED DOWN WHAT I HEARD ME SAYING, AND…
“Onto the next one… Okay, this is pretty experimental. Good too.”
The Mustard Queen
Spells of courtship, selection, fertilization
by Tomato Man,
slowly learning bittersweet sensations
of thickening.
A Holy Claustrophobia
This boy wonders what would happen if he were to swallow a square ice cube whole, one of those artisan whoppers concocted at hipster bars in Brooklyn. Would he suffocate before it melt? This boy guesses the […]
Half-Lives
She opted for options, always measuring portions, turning each meal on its Lazy Susan, reaching for soup before it cooled, then rotating back for tea before it became her temperature. Not proud of her middle […]
Rejection Letters 