We review hundreds of asses, and while we feel this reflects well upon our unique features and reputation, the downside is that we simply cannot accommodate every ass.
Author: D.T. Robbins
Regions Are Women, Villages Are Men
When speaking in one’s mother tongue, the flow of the sentence is intuitive. You weave the words together, synthesizing them into sentences that can be parsed without issues by your conversational partner. “It is,” “I […]
Rejection Letter: Amee Nassrene Broumand
We’re extremely disturbed by the sample photos you sent, as well as your accounts of stalking people in the woods and scaring the bejesus out of them.
Rejection Letter: Bryan Harvey
Dear Sasquatch, Thank you for the submission you made to our art editors. Your work created quite a stir in our emails and Zoom conference calls (we are social distancing after all). Anyway, while your […]
Rejection Letter: Melinda Wyers
Your claim that “someone’s ex-boyfriend only likes Yellow Starbursts” seems to be an edge case (or just made up) as our research has proven otherwise.
Around The World (AaroN Burch)
We were somewhere around Italy, almost halfway around the world, when the drinks began to kick in. I’d actually felt it right away, the brain freeze and beginnings of drunkenness hitting together as soon as […]
Are You Messing With Me? (Greg Chandler)
1. Friday at school I did nothing but read my grandpa’s journal. In class I kept the red leather-bound book in my lap, glancing down at his meticulous handwriting every chance I got. I spent […]
Intercession
In this house, everything is mine.
Einstein Visits the Piggly Wiggly
There was the time Einstein visited the Piggly Wiggly. Alfred has it recorded in a photograph. The photograph is really of a later time, that afternoon perhaps, after the Piggly Wiggly, when Einstein was standing […]
Rejection Letters 