I am very excited to announce
I will be joining the nothing
I will plant trees and name them Jerry
And cut them down to fill out applications
And send them to rich men with cufflinks
And pretty women who like to laugh
They will squint and see I have it
I think I am tall enough
I have told them my biggest weakness
And marked my vital organs
In case of immediate termination
I will not tell them what I should be
Even on Fridays
And I will drink too much water
Run to the bathroom
And see dying embers sucked into ventilation systems
Hear the strains of fathers who need more fiber
Play musical chairs with grandparents and cool uncles
Over elevator tunes that extend to the parking lot
I will attach jet engines to shopping carts
Tape fake mustaches to fake babies
I will still ask my neighbor how his day was
And mean it
***
Mitchell Laukonen is an unpublished writer and prank text enthusiast. Currently he is in the throes of over 100 job application rejection emails and several lit mag ones as well. What’s one more? Seems to be in the spirit of the publication. With this new found fame and notoriety he will finally be able to save up for a step ladder. He’s shot the ceiling with a nerf dart he cannot reach.
***
image: MM Kaufman
Rejection Letters 