I stood in the doorway half lost in the weeds blowing in the wind outside the bathroom window that hung open over my landlord who knelt over a drain and when he stood and turned away from the shower and showed me the wad of wet hair coated in soap that wasn’t mucus but looked to me more like mucus than soap I said “that’s the last of her” and counted the footsteps I’d have to mop up as he collected his snake and walked off through the kitchen toward the front door. I remember when we turned from friends to more when the way she’d say my name had changed. It was like she’d attached herself to it. She’d call just to see what I was doing. Now she’s hair covered in mucus. Now she’s memories I leave at the door because there’s work and work and more. Pain is a message that there’s work to be done and heartache opens the door inside so I can see what’s wrong with me but I think I just spent my 20’s having too much fun and since the other day when my older brother told me “there’s no such thing as free fun” I’ve been thinking I might be paying off a debt to everyone I’ve ever loved.
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Tony Godino has published a poem in SAGA #7. For most of Tony Godino’s adult life he was a roadie, touring the world. In 2019, he left this career to pursue a degree in Creative Writing at California State University in Long Beach. Starting over in his thirties probably should be terrifying, but it was a lot scarier to live his life ignoring his dream.
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image: Ashley Beresch. Check out more of her work on Instagram @ashleyberesch
Rejection Letters 