Call for Submissions (Lydia Buzzard)

Send us your absolute bullshit, respectfully

Punctuation will be shot on sight

Give me your TJ Maxx receipts, your convenience store

bathroom key please, your chiseled nipple chatterings, your 

county jail collect calls. Imagery of flowers will be painted 

and fed to an obese gerbil whose flatulence 

will be botulized, canned, and promptly mailed back; 

trigger warnings must begin with A/S/L á la AOL I.M.

Anything about your grandparents will be rolled into 

a cyanide cigarette and hopefully smoked by

your ugliest nephew—whose obit we will pay to print

Be bold. Be brave. Just don’t you dare send us 

a fucking poem


Lydia Buzzard is a medical student, untattooed tattoo-enthusiast, and former Google Glasshole. She resides in Madison, WI, with her anxious dog and a sense of permanent, frosty dread. You can visit her virtually on Twitter at @lydiabuzzard.


image: MM Kaufman