Send us your absolute bullshit, respectfully
Punctuation will be shot on sight
Give me your TJ Maxx receipts, your convenience store
bathroom key please, your chiseled nipple chatterings, your
county jail collect calls. Imagery of flowers will be painted
and fed to an obese gerbil whose flatulence
will be botulized, canned, and promptly mailed back;
trigger warnings must begin with A/S/L á la AOL I.M.
Anything about your grandparents will be rolled into
a cyanide cigarette and hopefully smoked by
your ugliest nephew—whose obit we will pay to print
Be bold. Be brave. Just don’t you dare send us
a fucking poem
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Lydia Buzzard is a medical student, untattooed tattoo-enthusiast, and former Google Glasshole. She resides in Madison, WI, with her anxious dog and a sense of permanent, frosty dread. You can visit her virtually on Twitter at @lydiabuzzard.
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image: MM Kaufman
Rejection Letters 