Dear [name],
Thank you so much for considering rejecting me. I am pleased to tell you that I will not be accepting this rejection of me or my work, the two of which are so tied to each other that to say no to one is to say no to it all.
In some ways, I always knew it would come to this – that I would be here, in the night, barely awake to see your sorrys and your words of encouragement that I keep trying. A little bit, I think that emotionally, I rejected you first as a way to satisfy my assumption that this was all so inevitable.
You know how I am, baby.
You know I’m trying therapy for all this guilt I’ve got knotted up.
So listen here, buddy. I won’t keep trying. This is it because I reject your rejection. We are going to make this work. We have put too much time into each other and I believe we can make this work.
We took vows when I pressed that submit button, and I’m not going to back out of them now – and if you dare try, why, I’ll take everything of the nothing you have. Your volunteers? They’re mine now. We’ll be doing something very different and much cooler. Your website domain? I’ll sell it on eBay just to spite you. So don’t even try me.
Your rejection is rejected, and I very much look forward to you publishing my work. Please send me $50 payment and a free contributor copy.
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Kirsten Reneau is a writer in some magazines and literary journals both in print and online. http://www.kirstenreneau.com
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image: MM Kaufman
Rejection Letters 