The gray-haired man in the video says he uses eastern white pines because they’re the best for building cabins. I search eastern white pine and look at the pictures. I keep parking under a tree that drips sap all over my car and I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of pine, it could be this kind of pine.
At the end of the video the man says to send a message with any questions so I send How many trees does it take to build a cabin? and pour another glass. I know it’s more than one, but how many more?
I search what can i do with one tree and the answer is nothing, leave it alone. There are more pines on the block, could I build a whole cabin from the trees that line the street? Are they right pines? Can’t every pine be the right one right now?
I search is it better to live in a cabin alone and is the best way to be alone in a cabin and is cabin okay with just dog.
I send Do you have a dog? How many dogs can live comfortably in a cabin? In your experience, what is the best cabin dog? and pour another glass.
I send What axe is best for cutting down pines? and realize I don’t know anything about axes, are there different kinds?
I search are there different kinds of axes and pour another glass and forget to look at the results before I search remedies depression again and the first result is a mental health hotline, has that always shown up first?
I search is depression bad and how do I make depression stop and there it is again, so maybe it just shows up for the word depression.
I send Can you be depressed in a cabin?
I search can you be depressed in a cabin because I can’t wait for his answer.
Search why am I depressed this time and there’s the hotline again.
Send I don’t know if there’s a reason or if I’m just like this. Does there have to be a reason?
Search why am I like this and get a video of a woman singing in a bedroom, but what the fuck does she know about me?
Send eastern white pine but that’s an accident, I meant to search it.
Search eastern white pine again because that has to be the tree making my car sticky and I know
I could park somewhere else but I also know I won’t, I never do. Send do you think I could really build a cabin?
Send be honest.
Send No it’s okay you don’t have to answer.
Search why my brain, let it fill in doesn’t work
Send I just want the sap to stop getting on my car.
Search alcohol delivery near me
Send I’m sorry, I’m sorry
Send I’ll stop but I don’t.
Send a blurry photo of my dog looking up at me, looking worried or sad or maybe just making the face that gets him the most food, that taps into what’s left of his survival instincts.
Search alcohol late near me
Send he used to be a wolf
Send could he be happy in a cabin
Send could I be happy in a cabin
Send sorry haha
Search how many trees to make a cabin and don’t see a number. Search will it always be like this and don’t see an answer.
Search how to get sap off my car and get another video.
Jessica Dawn lives on an island in the San Francisco Bay, she writes fiction and non-fiction, she tries her best. Her work is or will be in HAD, No Contact, Autofocus, Pidgeonholes, and more. Find her on Twitter @JuskaJames.
image: MM Kaufman