The Dog Who Only Said “Bastards” (Alexander Evans)

He said it for the first time on a Tuesday afternoon when the neighbor kids were running in the street. The man said what did you say?

The dog was silent. He’d said his piece.

The man took him to be checked. Any other words? asked the vet.

Just the one, replied the man.


The second time, he made it on the news, but you can’t say bastards on the news, so viewers thought it was a stupid joke: bleeped out dog. Funny, but not impressive.

Bastards, the dog said again.


Alexander Evans teaches college writing by day, and at night, he writes flash fiction. His stories have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and been featured in magazines such as Pithead Chapel, X-R-A-Y, and Milk Candy Review. He spends much of his time talking to his rescue pup, Otis, and trying to remember where he set down his cup of tea.