god forbid
i have a body
god forbid i show
its lines, its curves,
its stretch
marks: yaw / pitch
god forbid it
transforms
grows, revels in its
own glory
god forbid it lets
its mere existence
afford it space and
time or love (oh god)
god forbid i let it
be
god, i am so tired
of turning this body
into poetry
why must it be this
way? why can’t
i let it be? i sit in
the belly of all the
romance i spin,
grinding my teeth as
my imagination runs
thin, thinner,
thinner, until all i am
left with is
the metaphor, the line
break, the shell i scoop
myself from to knead
and press or mold
because god forbid
i be anything less
***
Nila Narain (he/they) is a mad crip queer poet. They are an alum of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign where they studied computer science and creative writing. In their spare time, Nila enjoys crafting and napping with their cat. Find them on Instagram @nilarain00.0.
***
image: Susan Gutterman