I remain extraordinarily bewildered that you have chosen me as a life-partner and feel that I am certainly not a good home for you at this point in my life.
It has been a breathtaking ride over the last 25 years and you have certainly changed me as a person, but now our shared time is hopefully coming to an end. I have become weary of bleeding through trousers and car seats and mattresses and am not at all dazzled by the constant nausea and the excruciating pain you inflict on me whenever you feel like it. For a relationship to flourish, it needs to be mutual and it seems to me that you simply can`t take no for an answer, which isn`t a good basis for anything, really. I am not a fan of the fact that you have invented more and more ways of trying to impress me like for instance the deep pain in my legs or an inability to think straight when you are around. I resent that you have ostensibly informed some of your peers that I would like their company as well, please do let Graves Disease and Claustrophobia as well as Anxiety know on my behalf that I have quite enough on my plate as it is and have neither the time nor frankly the energy for new acquaintances. Besides, your obvious jealousy has become a huge problem for me. Why can`t you just let me be happy, see other people, enjoy life? Why do you have to make sure that I spend a vast amount of time in my bed, at least a few times a year in the ER, why do you only seem to be pleased when I have minor surgery every now and again? Does it make you feel worthless and unwanted when I don`t react to everything you throw my way? Me breathing calmly or not crying all the bloody time won`t hurt you. You have made it quite clear that you are here to stay and will only maybe choose to leave me alone after I have gone through another desperate phase which obviously consists of crying, eating and heating a small village with my own body heat. I have never understood what you see in me, surely there must be better fits- or better even, none at all? You imply that I have been leading you on all these years- a notion I strongly object to. If I have given you cause to suspect that I am somehow fond of you and the mess a relationship with you entails, I am sorry, but I really cannot imagine that I did. I have made it perfectly clear from the very beginning that I am not interested in you and your endless drama. I find you draining and obnoxious, to say the least and have no sympathy for the way you treat me or other women. I had heard the stories about you before I even met you and you have exceeded even my worst expectations. In my wildest dreams, I could not have imagined how oafish and indelicate your courtship would be and that no matter how strongly I rebuffed your proposition you would try to convince me again and again that we would make such a great couple, if only I could be a little more understanding and if I could just give in to the pain, the hurt, the sleepless nights. I am sure you have heard the expression `no means no`. I meant NO then and I mean it now. You have been wholly unsupportive of me all this time and I do not wish to see you or ever hear from you again. You are not welcome here, nor am going to put up with your hogwash any longer.
Here`s to your swan song,