happy birthday

my brother and I witnessed a funeral
of families breaking apart
we gather dirt under our fingernails
ten black half moons
trying to bury it all

I cannot look at the motherland
she will be disappointed
my tears are never enough to make love
grow from her lap
but I know it is there because
that is where I came from

sometimes I feel like crawling back into her
I want to scream that she left me too early
burst me out of my house

how do you talk to a mother
without breaking her heart

***

Kaja van den Berg is a 23 y/o writer, blogger and English student from Germany. She’s an enthusiast for rain, books, art and people. Her work includes poetry and prose, as well as song lyrics.