Paradise My Ass

Dig your bible story babies:
Adam   and       Eve
Yahweh’s hobby-serfs
made ignorant
put to work
as gardeners

they’d still be there
except a wily serpent
set them           straight
on how things worked
in         ‘paradise’

that wise serpent knew a bad deal
when he saw one         minds expanded
on knowledge fruit
they knew Yahweh owned,           made them stupid

Later God came ’round
to check on things        couldn’t
find his slaves         (which just shows
omnipotence is a scam)         who hid
their naughty-bits
among the unwilting flowers

When He found out they
had sussed his secret        he was
super-pissed          the ground shook
the heavens roared          his anger-shame
scattered the immortal animals

Seeing his paradise revealed
as a proto-plantation          Yahweh
threw everyone out        even
ripped off the serpent’s legs-
So Old Testament!

Since then we live
in the wilderness
sexier         a little wiser
eyeing the uncertain sky
hoping    no one’s         watching
us being as mad
as our maker


Keith Welch lives in Bloomington, Indiana where he works at worrying about COVID-19 (lately). He has no MFA. He has poems published in The Tipton Poetry Journal, Open: Journal of Arts & Letters, Dime Show Review, and Literary Orphans, among others. He enjoys complicated board games, baking, talking to his cat, Alice, and meeting other poets. His website is On Twitter: @TheBloomington1.