Rejection Letters

On Getting One Hundred Rejections in a Month: A Personal Interview

What did you learn? What did you become?
My ego is a daisy picked petal-free.
See along the trail? the petals.
In the hand of the Public that busies itself
On its walk to whom it wants to see,
It found me and plays Forget-Me-Not,
Knowing always that the last leaf will not be in my favor,
To discard me in the yard of the preferred.
A pretty, perfect flower in a field to a stalk lost in the grass.
You learned to Edit; became Free.
Pain by other names. Yes.
That is the enlightenment of one hundred rejections in a month.
Why did you change your life?
I decided that I would seriously begin my life as a poet,
Become acknowledged as Poet beyond my mind, in print, by others.
Ego, the brilliant flower in the field, the Daisy of Daisies, was waning in the shade
Where it was growing- but the sun of the heart was out!
I had all the confidence to cultivate forever this one bloom;
It would forever be the prettiest thing in my mind.
Beauty has its needs though,
A heart beyond the heart of mine, a mind beyond the container where I kept it
And feeling that, fearing growing older,
Fearing that I was too late as it was to accrue fame, value, things to foster ego-flower,
I said I would submit everywhere, everything.
Did it change your life?
I keep my garden in my yard;
When the flowers are ready for appearance,
In a proper bouquet they’ll be displayed.
Cautious.
Deliberate.
You cannot go back, you know.
I am going where I need to go. I needed it all to be picked apart.
Describe your state of mind.
Devastated; more alive.

***

S. T. Brant is a teacher in Las Vegas. Pubs in/coming from Santa Clara Review, Quail Bell, La Piccioletta Barca, After the Pause, RIC, Cathexis Northwest Press, others. Twitter: @terriblebinth
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